I wrote this many months back when I was overworked and overwhelmed. I’ve made a lot of changes for the better since then, but still wanted to get this piece out because it’s a reality that lots of us walk through every day. I hope you all are well. Not just appear well, but that you are really well. 🙂
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I woke up this morning with anxiety. It happens more often than I’d like to admit. But here I am, admitting it.
After sitting in a corner of my dark closet for a 10-minute meditation, I felt better…for a spell. I called my therapist for a chat but he couldn’t squeeze me in today. He couldn’t get me in until next week.
Next week it is then. Carry on…
I don’t call my therapist every time I feel anxious, but I had been delayed in rescheduling my recurring appointment which I cancelled last month, due to scheduling conflicts.
That was lesson number one; don’t reschedule my therapy sessions to fit life in, reschedule life to fit therapy in! Lesson learned. But I had been doing so well that I got too comfortable, thinking oh I can just wait until next month to meet with him. I’ll schedule it later. Later kept getting delayed. Today’s happenings gave me the push to at least get the visit on the calendar.
Nonetheless, I was able to abate the anxiety for a while. As the day went on and my work got more intense (par for the course in my role), it resurfaced. Then my toddler who was heading to take her midday nap, requested that I make a special treat for her when she wakes up. In my head, I thought, ‘Special treat? She loves donuts, I’ll bake her some donuts!’ And that was the perfect distraction. Exactly what I needed in that moment.
I took a break from work and pulled out my favorite vegan donut recipe. (I’m not vegan, mostly vegetarian these days, but it’s my favorite donut recipe). Baking isn’t something that I particularly enjoy but making these donuts for baby girl shifted my train of thought. I had something else to focus on that was easy, that I knew would bring her joy and it helped tremendously to quell my anxious thoughts.
When she woke from her nap, she devoured her treat. She was so excited that I couldn’t bare to tell her stop. She gave up on her own after 2.5 donuts, and then went off to play- smiling from ear to ear.
At times, being intentional means being open to allowing the unexpected to work in your favor.
Intention does NOT mean that everything is planned to perfection, because that’s not how life works. When we try to fool ourselves into believing there such a thing as perfection, things don’t get better, they only get worse.
By no means am I attempting to trivialize anxiety. I don’t think there’s enough baking that can completely resolve it. And if you’ve read any of our work, you know how we feel about therapy and medical intervention. What I am saying is; being open to the positive makes a difference. Something that seems inconsequential, could turn your entire day around.
I didn’t think that donuts would be today’s remedy for my anxiety and didn’t set out for this brief baking session to help me through this difficult day. But it was, and I am grateful for baby girl’s request and that I allowed it to be a source of reprieve.
So I guess I need lesson number two to bring things full circle…
Donuts may not make everything better, but they sure made a difference today.
How do you manage an anxious or stressful day?
With Intention,
Sean and Simone
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