We all know that words have power. And colors are as beautiful as words are powerful. The way we describe colors can affect how we see ourselves and others. Think about how people say things like “there are dark days ahead for him” or “it looks dark and gloomy outside”, and other common idioms that are even in religious text. To offset the stigma that dark is scary, I reframed how we talk about dark colors to our kids. I remind them often that the world is a rainbow of beautiful colors, dark ones included.
I am intentional about this because I want to promote a sense of pride and love for their brown skin. The reality is that there are many things that will try to say something contrary. If I’m reading a passage in a book and the word “dark” comes up, I always insert “beautiful” before it. I’ve done this since they were born.
All colors have beauty, its why the world is such a remarkable place. But due to the negativity that is subconsciously and consciously promoted about dark colors, dark skin, we have to be intentional to foster a sense of love and pride for themselves, just the way they are.
I read books that have characters who look like them, to help develop their sense of identity.
While I can’t control how other people will perceive my children, I can actively develop and guide how they view themselves. To do this, I constantly tell them that their skin is beautiful and kissed by the sun. Babygirl now says look at my beautiful, brown skin daddy. When playing dress-up, she looks in the mirror with youthful innocence, but pride in who she is and what she looks like.
I also make it a point to impress upon them the beauty of darkness that exists all around us. The moon comes out and shines bright in the night sky. The most beautiful things grow in utter darkness, including babies in the womb, plants, and trees. The richest soil that nourishes and sustains life is dark. Without the beauty of darkness, our bodies wouldn’t have a chance to recharge.
This reaffirmation of finding beauty in dark colors will hopefully be in their memories when they hear or see dark colors associated with negative connotations.
So rebranding how I talk about dark colors as it relates to people, places and objects is a continuous effort. And if I’m honest, it’s actually an uphill battle given how tv, radio, and books generally portray dark colors.
But the alternative is for our kids to struggle with their identity that can cause years of confusion that can be detrimental to their overall development. So I will continue to encourage them to embrace themselves completely, and find beauty in dark colors. Because after all, the world is a rainbow of beautiful colors, dark ones included.
How have you combatted certain stigmas portrayed in society?
With Intention,
Sean and Simone
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I think honesty and taking a proactive approach, like you are doing, is the key. If we wait for society to teach our kids, it will be too late. I do the same as you in teaching that brown is beautiful. We took a trip to Mexico a few years ago and it was great in being able to teach our kids their roots….and also to be appreciative of what they have and the struggles of those who’ve come before them to get them to where they are now. I hope to go back soon, and to their mother’s El Salvador, so they can have the memories like you mention.
It’s funny, my wife quickly purchased them Kamala Harris t-shirts that say “my vice president looks like me.”
“If we wait for society to teach our kids, it will be too late.” That right there sums it all up, Noel. It’s a necessary lesson that we have to teach intentionally. So nice that you get to take them home. It’s so important for them to actually see and feel that. We’re going to have to look up those t’s. 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting, we appreciate you!