Ever since baby girl was born, I’ve intentionally said to her “You can do anything!”. At times it has its drawbacks, like when she takes the liberty of pouring her own milk and the entire contents of the carton end up on the floor, left for me to clean. There are pros and cons to everything, but the pros definitely outweigh the cons on this one.
This idea of being and accomplishing anything is reinforced in small successes day-to-day. She may have a moment of frustration, but we work through it. When we get to the other side, a calmer toddler and her task completed, I say “See, I told you can do anything!” And boy does she light up!
She learned how to ride her big girl bike a few weeks ago after she outgrew her balance bike. On her first attempt at riding, one of my friends in the neighborhood saw her struggle. He asked where are her training wheels, and didn’t she need them before going to her big girl bike. I said, “Nope, I’m confident she’ll pick it up relatively quickly.” But that first day was tough. She struggled and got frustrated, kept staring at her feet, and slamming on the brake. She couldn’t quite figure out the pedaling.
Another neighborhood friend noticed her struggling and demonstrated the pedaling motion to her. The power of community.
By day 2, she was riding her new bike like a pro. I said “I told you can do anything!” and she let out a big laugh and said, “This is easy, daddy!!” Now I have to remind myself that she’s only 4 because she handles the bike like a 10-year-old.
Another way I reinforce this concept is through books. On our trips to the library, I find books where little boys or girls exceed expectations and go on to accomplish great things.
The most recent book was Mae Upon the Stars. It’s about a little Mae Jamison who aspired to be an astronaut, but her teacher suggested that she become a nurse instead. The teacher with her limited vision and expectations couldn’t imagine this little girl becoming an astronaut.
Mae was upset and discouraged. Fortunately, Mae’s parents told her that her teacher was wrong and that she could do anything. Years later, Dr. Mae Jamison, went into orbit and became the first African American woman in space.
We have many books just like these where children are told that they can’t do something but they defy the odds.
Not only are these books great teaching tools and reinforcement of the “You can do anything” concept, they also make me reflect on a moment I had as a child.
In 3rd grade, my teacher told my parents during a parent-teacher conference that I would never go to college. Worse yet, I was sitting there in the room, right next to my parents. So I heard it. She said that because I was struggling in science and math. Of course, this didn’t sit well with my parents and they gave her an ear full.
But that teacher’s expectations never entered my consciousness, or so I thought. I didn’t even recall her saying it until I finished my Master’s degree. For some reason, it popped in my head during my graduation dinner. It came up then because I had been carrying the weight of her expectations with me and I didn’t even realize it. With tears streaming down my face, the weight was removed because I not only graduated from college, I surpassed her expectations and earned my master’s degree.
Fortunately for me, my parents, especially my mom, always encouraged me with words of affirmation accompanied by warm hugs. Even as I struggled with certain subjects in school, mom told me to always do your best. You are smart. You are worthy. She said it so much that the teacher’s negative comments did not become my reality.
Our children will go out into this world and be hit with disappointment after disappointment. They will likely be discouraged more than encouraged and we have to fight against that.
We have to build them up even more so that we can counteract that negativity. I know that feeling all too well and I’m determined to drown out that background noise and help them find their purpose through words of encouragement. You can do anything! 4 simple words that hold so much power.
How have you beaten the odds? What phrases do you use to encourage the little ones in your life?
With Intention,
Sean and Simone
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